Through the Looking Glass
by Fortune Maiden
Summary: And what Yumoto found there. A mysterious mirror hidden in Binan High School's basement takes Yumoto and Wombat to a strange yet familiar place…
1. Through the Looking Glass

**Through the Looking Glass**

 _And what Yumoto found there. A mysterious mirror hidden in Binan High School's basement takes Yumoto and Wombat to a strange yet familiar place…_

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 _This story was inspired by something which will be made apparent in the next chapter ;P_

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Basements. Nearly every building had one. Those underground levels where one traditionally could find a boiler or a fuse box, or one those loose doorknobs that always conveniently broke just when you were down there with either your crush or your least favorite person (or both—maybe they were even one and the same). Those dark places that were full of mystery, especially at night.

Some people made lounges out of their basements. Some used them as storage. Binan High School belonged to that latter category. While most schools either had classrooms in their basements (why waste a perfectly good floor), or a pool, Binan High School had a history. It was a long-standing tradition in this very old school to keep all the old furniture, textbooks, uniforms, drama department props, once-trendy items (confiscated from students naturally) and generous gifts from generous alumni. And for a school that predated the Meiji Restoration, it meant that some of the stuff down there was very _very_ old.

A lazy man would just keep everything down there and forget about it. A romantic man would use the collection to impress girls (and employ the old conveniently loose doorknob strategy). A businessman would realize that he could convert the basement into a history museum and charge admission for it.

But the principals of Binan High were not lazy, romantic, or businessmen (not at heart anyway), but they were traditional. And Binan High had another important tradition to go with its collection. It is this second tradition that brought three young men and a pink marsupial down to the basement that Saturday afternoon.

"Woah, it's really dark here," said one Kinugawa Atsushi as he descended down the steps, "Yumoto, be careful."

"Kaaaay," the freshman drawled, following closely behind.

"Yes, unfortunately the principal likes it this way," Kinshiro replied in response to his best friend's other comment, "And since students aren't normally allowed down here, the Student Council can't do anything about it. Ah, watch your step." There was a shuffle.

"I'm alright. Is it really okay for us to be here then? Won't you get in trouble?"

"It's fine," it was too dark to tell, but Kinshiro probably smiled, "This will be your only chance to look around. I have to return the key once the movers are done."

"Thanks Kin-chan."

At the bottom of the steps, there was a door, and Kinshiro pulled out the key he'd been entrusted with to unlock it. The door made a heavy creaking sound as it swung open, and the three boys and one marsupial were greeted with darkness, at least until Kinshiro flicked the light switch and dim lights illuminated a large room packed with lots and lots and lots of stuff.

Yumoto, with Wombat at his heels, wasted no time running into the room with loud enthusiasm.

Atsushi expressed this sentiment in a quieter fashion, with eyes that shone brighter than the basement lights. "Wow, there's so much more here than I imagined. It's like a warehouse. Is everything here for the auction?"

"No," Kinshiro replied, "We've marked the things that are." He pointed at a nearby vase (which incidentally was a Ming vase, but would fortunately not meet with any accidents in _this_ story) where a piece of paper on a string had been tied around the neck. "The company we hired to move the items to the auditorium should be here in a couple of hours, so you're free to look around until then."

"I want to say that's plenty of time, but looking at it now—

"I'm sorry, but it's the best I can do."

"No, no! I really appreciate this, Kin-chan! Really, thank you so much!"

Leaving Kinshiro and Atsushi to their friendship moment for now, the other tradition at Binan High was its auction. There were plenty of things in the basement (such as the aforementioned Ming vase), that had built up quite the monetary value. Every few years, the principal would hold an auction and the money raised would be split between a local charity and improvements to the school. (Traditionally, there should have been at least another year before the next auction, but there was a bell tower that still needed fixing.)

For various reasons, it fell to the Student Council to help set things up, and this set of duties included getting all of the items appraised, photographed, and delivered to the proper location where they would be under heavy guard until the auction's end. (The school learned its lesson about this after an art theft in the 80s. One should never leave valuable paintings unsupervised.) As such Kinshiro, Ibushi and Akoya had been swamped with preparations for weeks, and when one is usually swamped with work, he finds it comforting to complain about it to a close friend.

Which was how Atsushi found out about the treasure trove that was the basement.

Well technically, he always knew about it. This was one of those things at Binan High that everyone knew about, yet didn't _really_ know about. So when Atsushi _really_ found out about it, he wound up asking Kinshiro endless questions about the things down there, eager to see it for himself.

So Kinshiro obliged.

"Will you be alright by yourselves?" he asked, "I still have some matters to attend to in the Student Council room, so I'll have to leave you here."

"That's fine," Atsushi answered, "I'm sure you've spent enough time down here already."

"You have no idea," Kinshiro muttered darkly as various annoying memories of the past weeks replayed in his head.

The memories stopped when Yumoto and Wombat's excited chatter and fast paced steps drew Kinshiro's attention to the younger student. When Kinshiro had offered to show Atsushi the collection, the invitation was (by default) extended to the rest of the Defense Club, and rejected by all but Wombat, who was always eager to learn more about Earth culture and history.

And, naturally, where Wombat went, Yumoto followed.

Kinshiro sighed. "One more thing. At-chan?"

"Yes?" Atsushi's eyes were on Yumoto as well, and he anticipated the next question sheepishly.

"I know I don't need to tell you that there are things down here that are really valuable and _fragile_. I meant it when I said I don't have any objections to them being down here. But…" Kinshiro gave his childhood friend a pleading look.

"I know. I'll keep an eye out."

"Thank you."

Though these words were said—and meant—in truth, they were a little inaccurate. After Kinshiro left, Atsushi told the two of them to be careful and they promised they would be, knowing full well how important it was for it to look like they were never down there. But given the size of the basement and just how much stuff there was to look at, that was the extent the "keeping an eye out" went.

Atsushi, a bit of a history fan in his own right, was fascinated by all of the school memorabilia, especially the old textbooks. It didn't take long for him to find one that interested him and his eyes became glued.

He could still hear Yumoto and Wombat though. One would be more accurate to say he was keeping an ear on them.

Old books didn't interest Yumoto in the slightest. He was more curious about the basement as a whole, so while Wombat's eyes were drawn to all of the paintings and fixtures, Yumoto intended to explore every nook and cranny of it.

And so it was that in the nookiest, cranniest corner of the basement, there was a mirror. It was covered by a dark curtain, and stood so out of the way, that it was extremely easy to overlook entirely. Unless you were Yumoto, that was.

The tall shape stood out to him right away and he wasted no time dragging the curtain off, releasing a large cloud of dust in the air. Wombat was alerted to his coughing and wandered over out of concern.

"I'm okay," Yumoto assured him, "Wom-san you're going to get all dusty."

But Wombat didn't hear that for he too was drawn to the mirror. "What is this?" he asked with the frown of someone who knew very well what a mirror was, but had some trouble comprehending what he was seeing. The mirror looked like any other antique mirror. Tall, fancy frame, and large reflective glass. But it was the glass that stood out. As a rule, when you look into a mirror you should see your reflection and the reflection of whatever is behind you, _exactly_ as it looks behind you.

The first part was fine. When Yumoto and Wombat looked into the mirror, they could see themselves staring back with curious eyes. It was the second part that was a little unusual.

One of the first things the Student Council members did when they began preparing for the auction was have the room cleaned. There was still a good amount of dust to be found in the back, since they had few dealings back there, but it was comparatively neat and tidy, and one had no trouble moving around as everything was reasonably spaced out.

That wasn't the impression the mirror gave though. The background in the mirror had several boxes pressed together, visible layers of dust and even cobwebs. Perhaps that was how that particular area looked before the Student Council's cleaning crew got to it, but mirrors were supposed to reflect the present, not the past.

"Maybe it's a trick mirror," Yumoto said, undeterred by this oddity, "You know, like the kind that make you look really skinny or really fat?"

"We look exactly the same."

"There are lots of kinds. Oh, maybe it's like one of those green screen things they use to make different backgrounds appear on TV."

Wombat responded with a skeptical look. "Yumoto-san, just how modern do you think this mirror is?"

"Well, maybe it's just dusty," he reached for it, "Here I'll—

A curious thing happened then. At the moment that Yumoto's fingertips touched the glass, a painful jolt came out of his Loveracelet, and before he could react to that, there was a blinding light.

Sometime later, Atsushi noticed it was oddly quiet, and called out. He was confused at the lack of response, but it wasn't long before something else distracted him and he brushed off the silence as Wombat and Yumoto getting bored and leaving.

He was right about one thing. At that moment, Atsushi _was_ the only one in that large room. But Wombat and Yumoto hadn't actually left.

Not out of boredom, anyway…

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading. I hope you'll stick around! :)

This is my first Multi-chaptered fic for this fandom (and in ages really ^^"). I believe it'll have about 4-5 chapters, depending on how long the fic gets. It was originally going to be a oneshot, but after seeing how long this _prologue_ turned out, I decided to split it up.

I'm also trying out a new writing style (I always loved the snarky narrator-style.) Ah but if you feel I'm overdoing it or just doing it very badly (like if it sounds condescending instead of witty), please let me know! This is a learning process for me too!)

Till next chapter :)


	2. Strangers in a Strange Land

**_Strangers in a Strange Land_**

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The funny thing about mirrors was that more often than not, they showed one what they wanted to see, rather than the truth. Such as when a girl is all dressed up for prom, and the mirror tells her she looks perfect, but then a photograph reveals that the hairstyle she was so proud of was actually _slightly_ off-center. The mirror could have warned her, but it didn't, because it knew she had spent hours on that hair and didn't want to disappoint her.

Anyway, the relevance of all of that was that the mirror hidden in Binan High's basement was not like that at all. But when the light faded and Yumoto suddenly took notice of all the dust around him (by way of sneezing), that happened to be the first thing he thought of (albeit backwards).

The _second_ thing he thought of was more along the lines of "What just happened?"

Yumoto and Wombat glanced around, but it appeared that they were still in the dimly lit basement and another look at the mirror gave the impression that there was nothing wrong at all. The background matched the reflection perfectly now.

But the mirror was small potatoes in light of the Loveracelet's jolt. The last time it ever flashed like that was when Yumoto's classmate had turned into a monster. Ever since the final showdown with Hireashi, the Loveracelet was nothing more than a bracelet that still couldn't be removed on account of a certain marsupial not having thought that far ahead.

"Could it be broken?" Yumoto asked shaking his wrist lightly. The stinging sensation that always accompanied the jolt was already fading away, and it had yet to happen again. Yumoto even touched the mirror again for good measure, but all that accomplished was leaving fingerprints on the glass.

"That's impossible," Wombat said confidently, "Perhaps, a new monster?"

"Let's ask Atsushi-senpai if he felt it too," Yumoto said, and the two of them started to walk to the part of the dust-filled basement where they last saw their friend.

He was gone. "Atsushi-senpai?" Yumoto called out, loud enough to be heard anywhere on the floor, but there was no response, "Did he get bored and leave?" Yumoto shrugged it off and walked to the door, pausing only when he discovered it was locked.

The doorknob was firmly in place, but no matter how hard Yumoto rattled it, it wouldn't open the door. The next best thing to do, Yumoto decided, was bang on the door.

"Wom-san, I think we're locked in," he said a few moments later. Wombat's reaction was that of much more appropriate dread, and he instantly threw himself at the door trying to claw it open.

Yumoto was troubled. Not so much at being locked in, but more at how to approach the problem. He knew it would be easy to just blast the door open with a well-aimed Scarlet Lumiere, but he also knew that Kinshiro had done them a huge favor, letting them in, and he would ultimately be the one in trouble when the principal saw the damage.

Then his thoughts turned to Atsushi, who seemed to have left. Did he close the door out of habit, and just didn't realize it would lock itself? Or maybe this was some sort of prank? Though Yumoto had trouble imagining such a thing. Indeed, as far as doors were concerned, Atsushi was the kind of guy who would hold the door for someone walking in his direction from the other end of the hallway; certainly not the kind of guy who would lock someone in a dark basement for a laugh.

Or had Atsushi decided to use the conveniently loose doorknob strategy to allow Yumoto some quality cuddling time with Wombat? Yes, that definitely sounded a lot more like him!

That last thought cheered Yumoto up a little, even more so when Wombat suddenly jumped into his arms.

"Wom-san! Do you want to cuddle as well?" Yumoto asked brightly and instantly hugged the alien burying his face in the soft pink fur.

"No!" Wombat snapped and futilely tried to push away, "Yumoto-san, hold me up. I'll pick the lock."

"You can do that?"

"Yes."

"Alright, but—I'm sure Atsushi-senpai will come get us sooner or later. Wouldn't you much rather let me cuddle you?" If Atsushi was going to give him such an opportunity, why not take advantage, right?

But Wombat would not have any of it, and so begrudgingly Yumoto held him in front of the keyhole, where he proceeded to pick the lock with a claw. There was a click, and the door opened without any more struggle.

"That's more like it," Wombat remarked, jumped down from Yumoto's arms and strutted out of the room like a boss.

"Wow, Wom-san, you're like a secret agent!" Yumoto exclaimed and followed after him with shining eyes.

When they reached the ground floor, it became clear that something was off, but neither Yumoto nor Wombat could quite place it. At any rate though, the tranquil afterschool atmosphere, and lack of further stings from the Loveracelet, made it seem like the earlier jolt really was a fluke, and was quickly forgotten about.

Yumoto walked through the halls with a calm smile, but Wombat was suspicious. It was the kind of suspicion that one couldn't help but feel after experiencing several weird events in a row, but there was little he do with so many students around, many of whom were looking at him curiously. All Wombat could do was look up at all the young men in white shirts and black school blazers and continue pretending to be Yumoto's unusually colored pet.

"Still it wasn't nice of Atsushi-senpai to leave us like that," Yumoto was saying as they reached the third floor, on their slow ascent up to the clubroom, "I'll make him face a punishment game." Something like tickling would have probably been good. Or tussling his hair. Or getting treated to food.

Yumoto entertained the notion of getting Atsushi to treat him to lunch—or even make him something (Atsushi's cooking was second only to Goura's after all), but even the thought of food was quickly forgotten when he passed by a certain third-year classroom.

The door to the classroom was open, and as Yumoto walked by, his eyes locked onto a certain object hanging on the wall by the chalkboard. He'd always had perfect vision so he was easily able to read the offending item, and his carefree smile instantly turned into an indignant frown. He immediately walked over to it, Wombat following in silent confusion.

The offending item was a calendar. Now there were many ways a calendar could offend someone, such as when an acquaintance marked down a bunch of important dates on it, and one of those important dates wasn't your birthday, but that wasn't the case here. The case here was much simpler. It was on the wrong month.

"Wom-san, that's no good," Yumoto scolded the confused alien, "All this time as the homeroom teacher in this room, and you never bothered to change the calendar? I'm disappointed. What if someone got confused about the date, looked at this calendar for help and decided it was still April instead of November?"

"Calendar?" Wombat asked in disbelief. It was true that he was the acting homeroom teacher for Class 3-C since April, but he never recalled there being a calendar on the wall. Memory was a funny thing though; Wombat was certain there had never been a calendar on that wall, but at the same time it didn't _look_ out of place.

At any rate though, in the age of most people looking at their phones when they wanted the time or date, Wombat doubted anyone would have gotten confused at the calendar on the wall (and not to _that_ much of an extent anyway), but Yumoto was already taking it down.

(Incidentally, when Yumoto reached for the calendar he used his left hand which caused his sleeve to fall back enough to reveal his Loveracelet. At the same moment that this happened, a student happened to pass by the room and see it, but that probably wasn't all that important.)

Yumoto flipped to the November page and put the calendar back, very proud of himself. " _That's_ more like it," he remarked with a cheeky grin, but there was no strutting out of the room like a boss for him, for at that moment there was a voice behind him.

"Hey, you, uh, what was it… Tsukino, right?"

It was a familiar deep deadpan voice—one Yumoto heard every day, so he happily turned around—

And burst out laughing.

"En-chan-senpai!" Yumoto laughed so hard, there were tears forming in his eyes, "Your hair! It looks—

But Yumoto quickly noticed the slightly taken aback expression and calmed down. "I mean it's a very nice look for you. Are you trying to copy Atsushi-senpai?"

Indeed the En-chan-senpai before him looked like the En-chan-senpai Yumoto knew except for one minor detail.

His hair was blue.

Also, he wasn't En-chan-senpai.

"Er, no?" the student who wasn't En-chan-senpai (and also not the student who'd seen Yumoto's Loveracelet earlier) said as he ran a hand through his hair, "It's always been like this. Didn't think it's anything special. Anyway, You're confusing me with someone else. Name's Mizuno. Mizuno Tadakuni."

"Oh!" Yumoto covered his mouth with his hand, "I'm so sorry! I mean it though, your hair does look really nice!"

"Eh, it's fine."

Now that Yumoto knew the student before him wasn't his friend, he could the resemblance was more in passing. Aside from his hair, Tadakuni's face seemed a little longer than En's, and his eyes were deader. They reminded Yumoto of a fish.

He thought it strange how he'd never seen this student before, but the name sounded familiar to him, so he figured there had to be a student with that name. In fact, he was sure he'd heard it recently. (And he had, in fact, in the history class he always slept through.)

"Anyway," Tadakuni continued, "Tsukino—

"Ah, I think you've mistaken me for someone else too! My name's Hakone Yumoto. First year, Class A."

"Hakone Yumoto?" Tadakuni's eye twitched, as he realized a certain person clearly made a grievous error and would receive a lengthy lecture about it later, "My bad then. Anyway, you doing anything right now?"

He was just as direct as En, Yumoto realized, though it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. En's frankness was one of the things Yumoto liked about him. "Not really," he answered, "Wom-san and I were just down in the basement."

"Wom-san?" Tadakuni then noticed the pink Wombat with its jaw on the ground at Yumoto's feet. Realizing he was being addressed, Wombat finally picked his jaw up and just stared at the Yufuin En lookalike blankly. Something was _definitely_ not right.

"Uh, cool, I guess," Tadakuni shrugged, "Anyway, I've seen you around and, well, my club's short a member, so it'd be really great if you could join."

Yumoto tilted his head. Didn't everyone know he was already in a club? But curiosity made him want to know more.

"Oh? What kind of club is it?" Wombat glanced up at him critically, but said nothing, as he knew better than to speak in front of ordinary students, no matter how extraordinary this particular one seemed.

"Eh, to be honest, it's pretty much a do-nothing club," Tadakuni admitted in a bored tone, "Some friends and I just hang out in an old clubroom on the top floor. We want you to join our circle, if that's cool with you."

There was something extremely familiar about that description and Yumoto couldn't help but ask, "So what's your club called?"

Tadakuni seemed to hesitate before answering, "We're called the Earth Defense Club."

Yumoto's smile froze, and on the ground Wombat wore an expression he'd had once in his life previously, after a certain incident on a flight of stairs.

A thousand thoughts raced through Wombat's mind. Only one raced through Yumoto's.

"Can I see?" he asked, in a voice that gave no indication of how curious this all was. Tadakuni nodded.

Yumoto held Wombat close as they followed the familiar stranger. He led them through a familiar hallway, up a familiar flight of stairs, and to a familiar door. The familiar sign even had the little familiar "(lol)" on it.

The familiar door opened into a familiar room, revealing three more familiar strangers sitting at familiar desks, who all looked up at them with familiar faces.

"Hey guys," Tadakuni waved casually and went over to them, "I brought our new member. This is Hakone Yumoto."

"Hakone Yumoto?" said a guy with long red hair with a frown, "Didn't Sensei say his name was supposed to be—

"Looks like he messed up again," a guy with short green hair said with an unaffected shrug.

"That's not important," the third guy, a young man with short light brown hair and glasses chided them and stood up, smiling politely at Yumoto.

"Hello, Hakone-kun, I'm Aino Kusabi," he said warmly, and gestured to the other two club members with his hand, "This is Hino Shohei—" the guy with the long red hair gave a curt wave, "—and this is Kino Kuniya—" the guy with the short green hair nodded, "—Welcome to the Earth Defense Club."

From the doorway, Yumoto looked at all of them with confused merriment. "Wom-san, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," he whispered to the alien in his arms, who still had no idea of what to make of any of this.

"Oh well," Yumoto grinned and ran into the room.

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading, I hope this was alright ;)

I'm, um, sorry to say this isn't actually an Alice in Wonderland parody (not directly anyway), but I hope the idea of Yumoto wandering around the Prototype Boueibu universe is worthy of a few laughs as well :)

To anyone unfamiliar with Boueibu's origin story (or in need of a laugh), you can read it here (note dots, slash, and spaces -.-"): mizoshiru. tumblr.c o m (slash) post/116469226191/okay-u-nerds-sit-around-and-lemme-tell-u-a-story

Quite, uh, something isn't it ^^" (I'm using that post as the model of the prototype characters. I'm hoping to distinguish them enough from the characters we know and love, while still retaining the aspects we know and love... This'll be fun!)

Anyway, till next chapter ;)

(Thoughts?)


	3. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

**It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World**

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Some clubs are universal. Their names are usually enough of an indication as to what their activities are. An art club creates art, a specific sports club plays its specific sport, and a pun club makes puns.

Naturally, an Earth Defense Club defends the Earth, but for Binan High's Earth Defense Club, that was more of a side project. It's main activity was… doing nothing.

And Yumoto and Wombat were quickly discovering that even that was a universal.

In the Earth Defense Club he knew, the standard routine went as follows: Atsushi read, En napped, Io traded stocks, Ryuu texted girls, and Yumoto cuddled Wombat. Occasionally, when En wasn't napping, they would have serious discussions on trivial matters.

The Earth Defense Club here didn't seem too different. The main difference was that there was tea served, but other than that it was practically the same. The somewhat conspicuous pillow, book, tablet and cellphone on the desks were the most obvious hint, but even the conversations were bizarrely similar.

"A strange mirror in the basement?" Aino Kusabi (the man who would be Atsushi if Atsushi were to gain some weight, cut his hair and dye it brown) said curiously when the topic came up, "I'm afraid I don't know much about it. But you know, students aren't allowed in the basement, Yumoto-kun, so you really shouldn't go down there again."

"Why go down there in the first place?" Mizuno Tadakuni, the resident lazy man, muttered, "It's just full of old junk. Better to just store it and forget about it."

"Mizuno-senpai, you have no vision at all," Hino Shohei, the man with the mesmerizing bright red locks (which Yumoto and Wombat both really wanted to touch), said with a sly smile, "Old junk like that is the perfect thing to impress girls with." He jumped from his seat, and pantomimed holding his arm out like a gentleman escorting a lady would.

"You would bring her down there. She'd cry, "It's so dark! I'm scared, Sho-chan!", and cling tightly. You'd reassure her, "It's alright, you have nothing to fear when I'm here with you." And then you'd begin your tour through 200 years of Binan history, showing her how educated you are and how you value cultural heritage." Shohei flipped his hair over his shoulder several times as he acted the scene out. Yumoto's heart raced as he watched the show (and the hair), eagerly nodding along. The others, though, exchanged looks, familiar with the second year's antics and knowing full well where it was all going.

Indeed, there was a glint in Shohei's eye, and his smile widened. "And then just when you're ready to leave, the doorknob falls off and you two are alone, in the dark. One thing leads to another and—

"That's enough Sho-chan," Kusabi cut him off at the place where one always interrupts such stories at, to Yumoto's intense disappointment, "For starters, your history grades are already complicating your plan."

"S-shut up!" Shohei snapped.

"Not to mention, what girl in this day and age would fall for the conveniently loose doorknob trick? It's overdone." Tadakuni added.

"And furthermore, before you go around telling your girlfriends not to be afraid, do something about your own fear of bugs, since I imagine there would quite a few of those down there." Kino Kuniya, who was really just Io with fluffier hair (which Yumoto wanted to play with as well), pointed out.

"I didn't see any bugs," Yumoto raised his hand to comment, "But there were cobwebs so there are probably spiders around!" It was an innocent enough comment, but it was the final straw to make Shohei turn as red as his hair and glare at all of them.

 _Like Zaou-san, but with more theatrics and a quicker temper,_ Wombat observed duly, sipping his tea. It was a strange sight to him, and he wondered how effective Shohei's ploys actually were.

"Oh, oh, Hino-senpai, Hino-senpai!" Yumoto suddenly jumped out of his chair, sending the alien (but not the cup) to the floor, "Did you know, did you know? A lot of old drama club costumes are down there too! You can do a samurai film reenactment!"

The glare evaporated, replaced by a contemplative look. "Heh, I bet the ladies would love that," he nodded appreciatively, then cringed, "But I wouldn't want to wear something that's been gathering dust for 200 years. It's probably all moth-eaten by now anyway."

"Actually, I've heard that the principal takes good care to preserve everything," Kuniya chimed in, "There are some valuable pieces down there after all. What a waste, though, hiding them away like that. It'd be much better to convert the basement into a sort of "Binan Heritage Museum". And charge admission, naturally."

"Naturally," Tadakuni snorted, "That's our Kuniya. Always a businessman."

 _Exactly like Naruko-san_ , Wombat couldn't help but suppress a shudder. Not because he had something against Io—far from it, actually—but because he was starting to understand the implication of there being near-identical doubles of En, Atsushi, Io and Ryuu. This was really no time to sit around in the clubroom and continue on as normal. Wombat had a mind to go investigate things properly on his own, but that frightening implication kept him grounded.

If there were doubles of the other four, then it stood to reason that there was a double of Yumoto somewhere too. Wombat remembered his first encounter with the extremely belligerent individual well. Once was enough.

Still, he kept shooting glances at Yumoto and the door, trying to get him to leave. There was an unspoken rule about getting trapped in another dimension, that once there, the first priority was to get back. But Yumoto showed no desire to follow this rule. Encounters like this didn't happen every day, after all.

"I think your koala wants to leave," Tadakuni suddenly said, looking straight at Wombat who was still gesturing at the door. Hearing the k-word made him twitch.

"He's not a koala, he's a wombat," Yumoto corrected calmly.

"Are you sure? I've never seen a pink one before," Kusabi adjusted his glasses.

"I've never seen one in Japan before," Kuniya added, "Could he be some sort of designer pet?"

Wombat had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping.

"He's not a pet," Yumoto grinned, "He's a mascot." That description wasn't any better, Wombat decided.

"A mascot, huh," Kusabi nodded, "That sounds nice."

"Oh and he gives the best cuddles!" Yumoto exclaimed, "Want to cuddle him?" Kusabi did protest, but it was futile as Yumoto was already ready to chase the alien all over the school to get him in his arms. He had the predatory glint in his eye, which made Wombat want to instinctively run, despite knowing it was a wasted effort. So run he did. And Yumoto pursued.

And their chase went on for roughly three meters before they were assaulted by the door that burst open just as they reached it.

"Hey there kiddos, sorry I'm late!" said the oblivious person on the other side of the threshold, with a bright smile. Then he noticed the way the club members were all staring at the floor with wide eyes and opened mouths. "What's wrong?"

He then looked down noticed the KO'd Yumoto and Wombat.

"Did I do that?" They nodded in unison.

Wombat came back to his senses first, and took a good look at the face that hovered over him. His head throbbed from the collision, but it didn't take him long to realize that he knew that face. It was the face of someone he'd been taking care of since that aforementioned unforgettable first encounter. There was only difference though. A difference so drastic and startling that Wombat forgot all about maintaining his mute act and a shrill "MACHOOOOOOOO!" sounded throughout the room.

"Did the pink koala just talk?"

"It's a wombat, Mizuno-senpai."

"More importantly, Yumoto-kun, are you alright?"

The cry (and chatter) woke up Yumoto, who glanced dazedly at Wombat, then at the five surprised-slash-concerned faces. His eyes locked on the fifth face and his expression instantly brightened, injury forgotten.

"Tawarayama-sensei!" he exclaimed, as he let the teacher help him up, the frozen-in-terror Wombat secured under his other arm, "Nice afro!"

Wombat could now say he had worn _that_ expression three times in his life. This was Tawarayama in every way, shape and form… plus one gigantic round gray afro on his head.

It was also important to also note though, that his expression was different. Whereas the Tawarayama Yumoto and Wombat knew was a fairly calm, composed, elderly man, this Tawarayama had a bright smile and an excited look in his eye as he looked at Yumoto.

"Thank you," he said, addressing Yumoto's compliment, "Oh, could you be the fifth member we've been expecting?"

"Mhm, I'm Hakone Yumoto," Yumoto nodded without missing a beat.

"Hakone?"

"Hey, Old Man," Shohei called out, "You got the name wrong. _Again_."

"Did I? No matter," Tawarayama looked at Yumoto and nodded in approval, "Welcome to the Earth Defense Club, Hakone-kun." He reached into his afro (to Wombat's further horror, and Yumoto's delight) and pulled out a yellow pen, "Here, have a complementary pen."

"Thank you," Yumoto took the pen and looked it over. It was a standard enough looking pen, aside from a little crescent moon at the top of the cap.

"Just between you and me," Tawarayama leaned in close, his eyes shining mischievously, "That pen only writes the truth. If you write your homework with it, you'll always get the right answer!"

"Wow, really?"

"Yep. Just don't use it my class! Right guys?" Yumoto nodded, while behind him the other club members, all with complementary magic pens of their own, carefully avoided eye-contact with their notoriously difficult Japanese Literature teacher.

"Oh yes, and if you're ever in a pinch, hold the pen up and say "Lackluster, make up!" got it?" Tawarayama added.

"Lackluster, make up," Yumoto repeated slowly, but without holding up the pen, "Alright I'll remember that." He pocketed it, making a mental note to try it out later.

"Now then," Tawarayama led Yumoto back to the table and poured himself a cup of tea into his "World's Best Teacher (lol)" mug, "What have you kids told him so far?"

"Nothing, we were waiting for you," Tadakuni retorted.

"Member initiation is the advisor's duty," Kuniya told him pointedly.

"Yes, please get to it," Kusabi smiled calmly.

"Wait before you do," Shohei glared at Yumoto, or more specifically, the still frozen Wombat, "Are we just going to ignore the talking koala?"

"Sho-chan, we already said it's a wombat. Twice."

"Who cares about that?" Shohei walked up to Yumoto and snatched Wombat from him, holding the alien up critically, "I know I heard it talk."

" _Can_ it talk?" Tadakuni asked Yumoto directly.

"Please don't call Wom-san an "it". And yes, he can talk."

All eyes turned to Wombat, and Shohei shook him lightly. There was no response at all. "Is i—he broken?"

"I don't think so?" Yumoto shrugged, taking Wombat back and cuddling him, "Wom-san?"

"Why is there a talking Wombat in here though?" Kusabi looked at Tawarayama, "Do you know anything about it?"

"Not a clue. The guys upstairs don't tell me everything, you know."

"Pinnacle of usefulness, aren't you? Oh hey, maybe it's actually a robot from the future," Tadakuni suggested, "Hino, does he have a fourth-dimensional pouch?" As he chuckled at his own joke, Shohei tried to look closer, a hard feat due to Yumoto's intense cuddling.

"Come to think of it, marsupials do have pouches, don't they?" Kuniya wondered aloud.

"Yes, female ones," Kusabi told him.

"Ah, Wom-san is really sensitive about that," Yumoto remembered, "No matter, I'm sure he'll wake up soon. Anyway, who are the guys upstairs? We're on the top floor already, aren't we?"

"No, that expression means—

"Yes, indeed this is the top floor," Tawarayama cut Kusabi off, to his mild annoyance, "But the guys upstairs refers to my bosses. You see I am no ordinary teacher. I am a member of the Earth Defense Institution!"

And it was those words that broke whatever Afro-induced spell was on Wombat, for he suddenly cried out, "Earth Defense _Institution_? A genuine, honest to goodness organization sworn to defend the Earth? Such a thing really, truly exists on this planet? How wonderful!"

All eyes locked onto Wombat, who only _then_ remembered he wasn't supposed to talk. But it was already too late to play dumb and he knew it, so instead he just sighed dejectedly and said, "Yes, yes, it is a pleasure to meet you all. Please, tell me more about this Earth Defense Institution."

Tadakuni recovered first."Er, well it's sorta—

Whatever he had to say would go unfinished though, for suddenly, there was a loud crash from outside, and an all-too familiar jolt from Yumoto's wrist.

"Oh what nice timing," Kuniya said with a sigh, "Looks like we'll just have to show you."

"Yes," Tawarayama approached the bookshelf that served as the cover for the connecting door to the student council room in Yumoto's world, "Hakone-kun, if you would please come this way to our headquarters—Hakone-kun?"

The hidden door in this Earth Defense Club's room was actually a secret elevator to a little room that served as the Earth Defense Institution's headquarters (Binan Branch)™. Normally, whenever a crisis would occur, the club would squeeze into the tiny elevator, spill out of it into the Earth Defense Institution's headquarters (Binan Branch)™, analyze the situation, pile back into the elevator, spill out of it into the clubroom, and only _then_ , go deal with it.

That wasn't how Yumoto did things. For one his Earth Defense Club didn't have an Earth Defense Institution's headquarters (Binan Branch)™. For another, he liked getting things done quickly. So as soon as his Loveracelet flashed, he and Wombat were already running to the scene. Yumoto transformed into Battle Lover Scarlet on the stairs, by kissing his bracelet and shouting "Love Making", and by the time he was outside staring at the monster, his Love Stick was already out and ready for action.

The monster's appearance gave Yumoto brief pause. It was a large white rabbit with pink eyes and a black and red checkered waistcoat with a large watch sticking out of the pocket. The rabbit would have been very cute had its pink eyes not been small and beady and it didn't have a wide grin from ear to ear. Oh and a giant gavel, not unlike a judge's. Or an auctioneer's.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Yumoto tilted his head, with a cocky grin.

"Yumoto-san, I believe this is what the Loveracelet reacted to before," Wombat, unfamiliar with classic Earth children's literature, said earnestly.

"So that's why we were brought here then," Yumoto nodded, "Alright then, let's take care of it and get back to the clubroom. I want to hear more about the Earth Defense Institution."

Of course, had Yumoto waited at the clubroom for twelve more seconds, he would have already been getting the full exposition in the Earth Defense Institution's headquarters (Binan Branch)™. But since he'd run off, the other four were left to go through the motions without him.

"Guys," Kusabi said looking out the window with a stern expression, "Maybe we should skip the elevator today and just go already." Outside, he could see the monster facing off against Scarlet in a flurry of jumps, kicks and beams.

"Yumoto's already fighting that thing?" Tadakuni raised his brows in surprise, "He's a natural. Maybe we should just leave it to him and kick back."

"Wait, he's transformed already?" Tawarayma pushed Tadakuni out of the way and pressed his face against the glass. "Yes, magnificent! He seemed a bit eccentric so I had my doubts, but he's everything we could have hoped for! Excellent! Beautiful!"

As Tawarayama continued to praise Yumoto's fighting ability, Shohei looked up from his phone and rolled his eyes. " _He's_ the eccentric one?" He then returned to his phone, and next to him, Kuniya booted up his tablet.

"Uh guys," Kusabi winced as he watched Yumoto mistime a jump and get sent flying across the field by the gavel, "Shouldn't we go help him now?"

"Yes, you must go at once," Tawarayama agreed, albeit for different reasons, "You need to observe his powers, after all. His weapon is already a bit different from what I expected."

"I think we can observe just fine from here," Tadakuni made himself comfortable, "Look, he's already gotten back up."

"Indeed, it looks like we have nothing to worry about," Kuniya smiled calmly, despite not having seen any of the fight at all, "Perhaps now we can have a normal high school life again."

Kusabi sighed in frustration and turned to Shohei. Shohei, knowing he was being watched, groaned and tilted his head forward slightly so his hair blocked his vision and he didn't have to see his friend's large brown eyes.

"Sho-chan…"

Unfortunately, he could still hear Kusabi's innocent pleading tone, and the battle was lost. "Fine, fine, I'm going," he said, still not looking at Kusabi though, to avoid seeing his overjoyed smile. "Mizuno-senpai, you come too."

"Why me?"

"You're our club president," Shohei retorted, "Act like it once in a while."

"I brought the new member, didn't I?" But Tadakuni was already going to the door. "Kino, what about you? Coming? Staying?"

With all eyes on him, Kuniya sighed and put away his tablet. "If I must," he got up.

As the rest of the Earth Defense Club made their way to Yumoto, in another empty room, another student watched the battle with an unreadable expression. There were plenty of students watching the fight actually, but he was the only one who wasn't treating it like some sort of strange show...

The fight continued. The monster, though really no stronger than any other monster Yumoto faced, was fast and his constant rapid rantings about value and bidding kept breaking Yumoto's concentration. There was also another problem he'd discovered after a few successful hits, but the heat of battle was not the time to think of it.

"Goin' once, goin' twice, SOLD!" the auction monster spun his gavel and pounded the ground. Yumoto was a split second too late to jump and the resulting shockwave made him lose his footing and stumble back.

He didn't fall though, for at that moment, the cavalry arrived and Tadakuni safely caught Yumoto from behind, steadying him.

"Thanks," Yumoto smiled, "You should get out of here before you get hurt. I'll handle this."

"Oi, oi, what kind of senpais would we be, if you just left you on your own," Tadakuni ruffled his hair gently, ignoring the others' accusing looks, "Anyway, ready guys?"

The four members of the Earth Defense Club pulled out their pens, help them up, and shouted, "Lackluster, make up!"

Yumoto and Wombat watched in amazement as their school uniforms were replaced with nearly identical Battle Lover costumes.

"Lackluster Mercury," Tadakuni, in an identical outfit to Battle Lover Cerulean's, announced, "You who befoul our beloved Earth!"

"Lackluster Mars," Shohei's long red mane had been swept up into messy, spiky ponytail that resembled a flame, and his outfit lacked the brown sash, but otherwise it was a perfect copy of Battle Lover Vesta's, "No justice can come from loveless power!"

"Lackluster Jupiter," Kuniya's outfit resembled Battle Lover Sulfur's in all but color. It was green, "Love is all!"

"Lackluster Venus," Rounding off the set, Kusabi, in an orange version of Battle Lover Epinard's outfit declared, "Live for love, die for love!"

Yumoto didn't miss his cue. "We are heirs to the throne of love!," he announced.

"Battle Lacklusters/Lovers!"

They could all hear the proverbial record scratch.

"Wait, what was that last bit?" Kuniya asked.

"Battle... _Lovers_?" Kusabi asked.

"And "heirs to the throne of love"?" Shohei grimaced, "That's seriously tacky." Nearby, Wombat bristled.

"Listen, we're called the Battle Lacklusters," Tadakuni added, "Get it right."

Yumoto blinked, genuinely caught off guard. Then he grinned cheekily. "Aw, but Battle Lovers is a venerable and noble title!"

"Can't be, it's English," Shohei retorted. The others nodded in agreement.

The grin vanished. Yumoto exchanged a look with Wombat, and for the first time, he felt as if he could understand all of the cuddly alien's troubles.

"Yeah, well, Battle Lacklusters is English too!"

"Yeah, well, we're not going around calling ourselves noble and venerable heirs to the throne."

"Yeah, well… what does Lackluster even mean? Wom-san?"

Wombat sighed and scratched his head, trying to will his headache away. " _Lackluster_ ," he said through gritted teeth, "is a word which here means unpolished, lifeless, jaded, boring, halfassed—

"Woah, why would you want to call yourselves that? Who came up with that name?" Yumoto and Wombat turned to Tadakuni for the answer, making him tense slightly. The name was, in fact, his doing, and there was a long somewhat ludicrous story behind it, most of it having to do with how he felt about the whole superhero job.

Unfortunately the long ludicrous story could not be told for at that moment the gavel came down again and they all had to jump out of the way.

"Hey, we were still talking! Wom-san, he's not following the Kabuki Rule!" Yumoto complained, pouting.

"The _what_ rule?" Shohei, a kabuki fan in his own right, asked.

"Forget it, let's just take it down already," Tadakuni yelled and they all summoned their weapons: little color-coded star-shaped tambourines.

"Tambourines?" Yumoto blinked and watched as four color-coded beams shot out of those tambourines and onto the white rabbit, making him cry out in pain. Not wanting to be left out though, Yumoto followed up with his own Scarlet Lumiere. The rabbit staggered back and collapsed.

Normally, this would have been the part where the Battle Lovers combined their powers and finished things off with a Love Attack, a weird speech and a Love Shower. And this was fully how Yumoto wanted to proceed.

It only took him one "Sparkle, Lumiere of Love!" to remember that one very important thing that had bothered him.

Battle Lover Scarlet wasn't a Battle Lackluster. The Battle Lacklusters weren't Battle Lovers.

They were completely incompatible.

"Hm, nothing special's happening," Kusabi frowned, "Didn't Tawarayama-sensei say that when all five Battle Lacklusters come together, we'll unlock a new power?"

"Maybe?" Shohei shrugged and held up his tambourine, "Does it matter? Let's just defeat this thing as always. Allow me."

Wombat froze as he realized what that entailed. Yumoto did as well and already his legs were carrying him forward.

"NO!"

At the moment that Shohei's beam fired, Yumoto jumped in front of the monster and shielded them both with his Love Stick.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Shohei snapped.

"Yumoto, get out of the way," Kuniya told him sternly.

"No way," Yumoto snapped, "We're doing this properly! With a Love Shower! This monster isn't evil! He's just hurt and lonely and needs us to love him."

"He needs _what_ now?" Tadakuni scratched the back of his head, "Look just—Yumoto, look out!"

The warning, as warnings usually do, came too late. While Yumoto had his back turned, the monster had recovered. And as a monster not bound by the Kabuki Rule, it didn't stand around and let its opponent keep his back turned.

It didn't announce itself either. Yumoto never even heard it coming. One moment he was standing with his hands outstretched protectively in front of the monster…and in the next, something hard smashed into his back and sent him flying into the school.

He left behind a large crater in the wall as he fell onto the ground on his back. Were it not for the highly advanced technology in the Loveracelet protecting him, he would have been dead most likely. But that didn't mean the attack didn't still hurt. His body was heavy, and refused to move as he wanted.

And all around him, everyone watched the scene in horror.

He heard his name being called, but he couldn't tell who was calling him. All Yumoto could tell was that the white rabbit's large gavel was quickly coming down to crush him.

He braced himself.

…

He was floating. It was a strange feeling, floating. Jumping around as Battle Lover Scarlet gave a similar impression, but he was never quite this light.

He was also warm. It was the kind of warmth he always felt when his brother hugged him. Sluggishly, Yumoto realized he was being held, in a sort of protective grip, not unlike the one En had him in during one of their battles.

The feeling of movement stopped, but he was still floating.

"Good grief," an unfamiliar voice said, "I must admit, you're a little heavier than I expected. Such a small thing too." The voice was teasing him, but there was a biting sharpness to it too. "You can open your eyes, now."

Yumoto listened. He blinked rapidly as the world and the face of his savior came into focus. Just as the voice was unfamiliar, the face was unfamiliar as well. Or at least, it wasn't a face Yumoto could place right off the bat. (Shohei, despite his long bright red locks still had Ryuu's face, something Yumoto discovered only after staring at his hair in fascination long enough.)

The stranger had dark brown hair, combed neatly to the side, and deep brown eyes. He held Yumoto as if he were a bride, and in such as a situation, even Yumoto couldn't but feel his heart skip a beat. The stranger had a muscular build to go with his handsome features, though it still couldn't match Gora's, and reminding himself of that, helped Yumoto regain his focus.

"Who are you?" Yumoto asked the clichéd line and looked around. He didn't need to ask the clichéd "Where are we?" though, for he could quickly see that they were on the roof of the school, a little ways away from the still-ongoing battle.

"The monster!" Yumoto cried and squirmed. It was a truly backwards situation, but he knew he had to save it. The battle had to be ended with a Love Shower. That was how it worked.

"Easy now," the stranger set Yumoto down on the rooftop, still holding his shoulders to support him, "You don't have to worry about that. The Battle Lacklusters' job is to capture it for the Earth Defense Institution. They're the ones who take care of the 'Love Shower' as you call it." His words had the desired effect, and Yumoto could feel himself relaxing a little, but he still knew he had to get back to the battle.

"Wait a moment," the stranger's voice, though still light, stopped Yumoto in his tracks, "I've been watching you for a while now. There's something I need to ask you."

"Can't it wait after the battle?" Yumoto asked.

"No," the stranger answered without missing a beat. Something changed in his expression. "You aren't Tsukino Sabaku." He edged closer.

"You aren't from this world," his stare was piercing.

"Who are you?"

* * *

 **AN:** Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it.

The transformation pens were inspired by Codename:Sailor V; Sailor's Moon's prototype series. I thought it would be fitting ;)

Also I hope the Battle Lacklusters turned out okay. They're actually pretty fun to write (Shohei especially, who I may have turned into a bit a theatrical type. This is a bit of a reference to what his name means according to the tumblr post, and also the fact that there is an actor with that name ^^)

Till next chapter :)


	4. It's a Wonderful Life

_~Fighting Evil by Sunlight  
Showering Love on enemies in sight  
Only one to ever really fight  
He is called Lackluster Moon~ _

* * *

**It's a Wonderful Life**

* * *

"Who are you?"

It was a simple question, yet Yumoto hesitated in answering. He was sure he was still Hakone Yumoto when he got up that morning, but now he couldn't help but feel a little different. He was in a different Binan, fighting as a Battle Lover once again (alongside Battle Lacklusters… a name he still couldn't wrap his head around), and being saved by a mysterious stranger. And yet, up until the latter moment he felt as if everything was going along as it should have. It was strange, but fun and why not go with the flow and enjoy the moment?

 _Who are you?_ This wasn't his world. For the first since he'd gotten there, Yumoto felt as if he was supposed to have been looking for the way back instead.

"Tsukino…," he wondered aloud, "Mizuno-senpai called me that when he first saw me. And the others kept wondering if they'd gotten my name wrong too."

Yumoto whirled around to face his savior. "Tell me, who is Tsukino Sabaku? Is he supposed to be the fifth Battle Lackluster? Does he look like me?"

The stranger was taken aback by this directness. The way he saw it, he was supposed to be the one asking questions. He'd been watching Yumoto since he'd spotted the Loveracelet on his wrist, biding his time in preparation for this moment.

But faced with Yumoto's clear, curious eyes, the exposition spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it. "That's right," he said, "Tsukino Sabaku is a first year at this school who is meant to join the Earth Defense Institution. You bear a remarkable resemblance to him. Although…" he looked Yumoto over carefully, "he's a bit taller, I think. And also lighter." He'd meant it to be a jab, but Yumoto just nodded thoughtfully.

"I see, I see," he smiled, "Yes, that makes sense. I was wondering where my lookalike in this world was. So? What's he like? What color is his hair? Does he like cuddling? Where is he anyway? I want to meet him!"

The interrogation was getting relentlessly off track. The stranger had only been in Yumoto's company for a few minutes and already he was understanding that his resemblance was only superficial. The only thing he and Sabaku really had in common was those wide clear eyes you just _couldn't say "No" too_.

"No!" he said, albeit to himself, who was still fair game, "I'm asking the questions here. You're—

"You know, it's rude to ask for someone's name before introducing yourself," Yumoto pointed out.

"Technically, you asked me first!" The stranger retorted.

Yumoto did. He remembered now. "Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm Hakone Yumoto, first year, class A."

"Same as Sabaku then," the stranger mused, "I'm—

He was drowned out by a loud crash from the battle area. The white rabbit had tossed his gavel at the school, creating a huge hole in the structure.

"Oh that's going to be a pain to get fixed," the student groaned, "Alright, no more fooling around. Pay attention. This is important."

Yumoto nodded, having remembered the battle.

"Today, Mizuno was supposed to invite Sabaku to join his club. When the monster attacked, Sabaku was supposed to lead those guys into battle and something interesting would have happened."

"Something interesting?"

"I don't know what," the student admitted, "That's what we were all supposed to find out. But instead, Mizuno encountered you, and you've taken Sabaku's place in this episode."

"Oh. So where's Sabaku now?"

"He went home."

Yumoto frowned. " _What_?"

"What do you expect? He's not in any clubs; what reason does he have to stick around? Since Mizuno spotted you fiddling with the calendar, he approached you and went straight to the clubroom, Sabaku went home, as usual," the student explained, taking in Yumoto's troubled expression, "I know you didn't intend for this to happen. I don't know how you stumbled into this, but you can't stay here."

"But the monster…" Neither Yumoto nor the stranger could understand why it was so powerful. The Battle Lacklusters had brought it to its knees once, but suddenly all they could do was jump around aimlessly as it kept rampaging. It needed to be stopped. Immediately.

Yumoto wouldn't leave now even if he knew how to. The stranger only had to look into his eyes to understand. He sighed.

"From the moment I saw you, I could tell you don't belong in this world. Your power is different. Stronger," he said, "That "Love Shower" you mentioned before. Can you use it?"

"Not by myself," Yumoto admitted, frustrated, "I need to combine my powers with the others first. The Battle Lovers, I mean."

"I see," he considered it, "But I can tell from your eyes that you really want to stop that monster. Surely, if you want it badly enough…"

Yumoto didn't need to hear the rest of that thought to understand those words. He knew the feeling of wanting to save someone at all costs, and how powerful Love really was in the face of that determination. He held out his hands in front of him. If he really focused, he could feel the outline of the combined Love Stick appearing in his hands. He could feel its weight. He could feel the warm energy of love flowing through him. He could feel the fluffy white wings fluttering on his back. If he really wanted to, he _could_ summon the combined Love Stick and put an end to this.

But this was wrong. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.

"Can I ask you something?" Yumoto continued to watch the monster, "Is Tsukino Sabaku someone important to you?"

Yumoto's back was turned so he couldn't see the student's eyes widen in surprise, or thoughtfully consider his bond with the first year. He couldn't see the emotions dancing on the student's face as he thought of his old friend. But Yumoto could hear the affection in his voice when he answered,

"Yes. Very important."

Yumoto smiled. "I thought so. Love out." The white Battle Lover outfit disappeared in a flash of light, putting Yumoto back into his school uniform, to the student's disbelief.

"Wait, why are you—

"I'm sorry, but I need to take Sabaku's place for a while longer," Yumoto said. He pulled out the pen he'd tucked into his pocket, held it up above him, and at the top of his lungs shouted, "Lackluster, make up!"

To his disappointment, the outfit was exactly the same. The only difference was that his Love Stick became a yellow crescent shaped tambourine, and that his name was now Lackluster Moon, but the names were just ceremonial anyway.

"Leave this to me. I'll get things back on track!" He jumped off the roof, before the student had time to object. Left all alone, he sat down on the roof with a wary smile. If nothing else, things would at least be worth a watch.

While Yumoto and the stranger were on the roof though, the battle had continued. The four Battle Lacklusters and Wombat had watched Yumoto nearly get crushed with open mouthed horror, but they hadn't seen what became of him. Wombat thought he'd seen a blur, but when he realized Yumoto had disappeared, he couldn't focus on it anymore. All he could focus on was his own despair and all the negative energy permeating the air and strengthening the monster.

The only consolation was that the Battle Lacklusters started losing the lackluster part of their name. They fought with ferocious energy, eager to avenge their disappeared comrade. But their anger only made things worse for themselves.

"I've had it," Shohei snapped and tossed his tambourine in front of him. It bounced off the ground and landed a few feet away with a forlorn jingle, "It's all worthless anyway."

"Sho-chan?" Kusabi frowned.

"He's right," Kuniya smiled bitterly, "There's no value in any of this."

"Oi, oi, don't start thinking like that," Tadakuni clutched his head as he said this though, "You're letting the monster get to you."

"Really now Mizuno-senpai," Kuniya's eyes were distant, "Isn't he right? Value is up for the bidder to decide right? All around us, people can see how worthless we are. We can't even bring down one monster."

"He's right," Kusabi lowered his gaze, "I wouldn't bid on our success at all."

"You're…" Tadakuni groaned and plopped down on the ground uselessly, "Yeah… I'm sold."

Wombat groaned. It was the monster's powers at work. Naturally a monster that acted like an auctioneer, would think of everything in terms of auctions: placing values on lots and selling them—or in this case, placing values on people's sense of self-worth. Yumoto hadn't been affected because he hadn't been listening to the monster. He'd been too interested in the mysterious Earth Defense Institution at the time.

But he _did_ hear the monster taunting the Lacklusters at that moment, cruelly throwing around words like "worthless" and "for others to judge."

"I don't think so!" he yelled and fired a beam of light from his tambourine. It hit the monster full force, making it cry out in pain and stumble backwards.

From Yumoto's perspective, he'd just reached them at that moment of weakness and was responding to the rabbit's taunts, stopping him from flattening his allies with the gavel.

From the perspective of everyone else though, he was nothing short of a Big Damn Hero.

"Yumoto-san!" Wombat's cried out tearfully. His cry was echoed by the other four, but Yumoto wasn't paying attention to them at the moment.

"Your worth is not for anyone else to judge and bid on. The world is not an auction for you to bang your gavel in," having missed most of the battle, Yumoto wasn't really sure what was going on, but a little thing like comprehension wasn't going to stop him, "You can't let others judge your place in the world. And if you're surrounded by nothing but judgmental types, ditch them and find a better crowd. The people who truly care won't go around placing some arbitrary sum on your worth like you're a prize to be won. The people who truly care will already think you're priceless!"

Yumoto's words exuded confidence, and everyone hearing them couldn't help but believe them; the monster included. The effect was like a wave, hitting everyone at full force and washing away their negativity.

The Battle Lacklusters too felt their strength return. Yumoto walked over to the discarded tambourine and picked it up, handing it back to Shohei who stared at him with an unreadable expression. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Kusabi cut him off.

"Yumoto-kun, you're alright!" he exclaimed, "But how?" His puzzled expression was shared by the others as well.

"Let's just say Lackluster Moon has a guardian angel," he grinned, looking in the direction of the roof. The grin faded quickly though, replaced by uncharacteristic (to those who knew him anyway) seriousness. "This monster is really annoying. Let's finish it already."

"Oh? You'll let us attack him now?" Kuniya asked.

Yumoto held up his tambourine. "Not exactly. I think something's supposed to happen with this…"

Being a superhero didn't come with an instruction manual. Wombat, the resident mentor-figure, could usually fill in some details here and there, but most things were left for the heroes to figure out on their own. When the Battle Lovers debuted, they weren't told that they could combine their powers. It had been a sort of instinctive feeling.

And Yumoto could feel it now. From the way the others studied their own tambourines, he could tell they felt it too.

Instinct told them to toss the instruments into the air, where they watched the four stars spin around the crescent and combine into one weapon. A—

"A harp?" Shohei blinked as the small golden instrument with five colored strings descended into Yumoto's hands. "Why a harp?"

"Five tambourines become one harp," Tadakuni shook his head, "Logic."

"Technically, that's a lyre, not a harp," Kusabi pointed out.

"Still moon logic," Tadakuni insisted.

"Well, he _is_ Lackluster _Moon_ ," Kuniya offered, which seemed to satisfy everyone.

Yumoto couldn't really care less about what the combined weapon was; a harp/lyre/whichever made as much sense to him as anything else. All that mattered was that he could end things properly now.

"Now then," Yumoto grinned at the monster, "Reborn! Love Attack!" He came up with the attack's name himself. He struck the harp and his grin grew as a rainbow beam shot out from the strings. The monster couldn't even try to dodge it. It collapsed in a crumpled heap, its Cheshire smile gone. It looked more like a cute fluffy rabbit that Yumoto would have loved to cuddle, looking up at him with frightened eyes.

"It's alright now," Yumoto assured it and plucked the strings of the instrument, "Love Serenade." A beautiful sound flowed from the instrument; everyone hearing it could feel their hearts swell with love.

What they actually heard though was different for each person. The Love Serenade was a song that was meant to be the ultimate love song, but as everyone's musical tastes differed, so too did their personal song of love. For Yumoto, the music that made his heart swell with love (and also pride) was the song he'd written for his brother. He smiled as it flitted into his ears, and hummed along to the melody, his brother's kind face appearing in his mind.

He wasn't sure what the others heard, but everyone—Wombat, the Battle Lacklusters, the monster, the students watching from the school—wore peaceful expressions.

The white rabbit's grin returned, though it no was no longer mad-looking. It was just a pleasant grin on a giant fluffy rabbit that in the blink of an eye became a pleasant grin on a balding man in a brown suit.

"Love is over," Yumoto said and the music stopped. As expected, the other four followed up with "No, it's not" before turning their attention to the man who was the monster.

"Isn't that…" Tadakuni began.

"The principal," Kuniya confirmed, "He looks so happy." He was. Though the music had stopped, he still wore a blissful expression, having been touched by the Love Serenade.

But that didn't matter anymore. When the battle was over, both the victim and the spectators were nothing more than window dressing, that became less and less noticeable with time. In fact, the only thing Shohei could see in front of him was Yumoto. Happy, healthy, not-a-pancake Yumoto.

"You… you… _idiot_!" he yelled and suddenly threw his hands onto Yumoto's shoulders, "Do you have any idea how worried those three and the rodent were? Don't ever do such a stupid thing again!"

"Ah sorry, sorry," Yumoto replied, "But it all worked out, so it's fine."

"No it isn't!" Shohei snapped, but backed off when Kusabi put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Reluctantly he backed off, and let the others surround Yumoto as well, all of whom had the same question: how did he escape?

"It just happened," Yumoto shrugged. The Lovera— _pens_ give us enhanced physical abilities right? So I just thought of running really fast and it worked!" He didn't think it was his place to reveal who saved him. He'd leave that to Sabaku.

The Battle Lacklusters didn't seem too satisfied with that answer, but they didn't press further and just followed an eager Yumoto back to the clubroom. Tawarayama all but repeated the earlier conversation, studying Yumoto from every angle, commenting on his powers and fighting prowess. Yumoto's happily retold the story, adding in all of the necessary embellishments. But in his mind, the gears were slowly turning. He'd been thinking of how to make a natural (and permanent) exit from the club, and after they'd all gathered their things and prepared to leave for the day, Yumoto stopped at the foot of the staircase, and said,

"Hey guys, there's something I need to tell you."

"What's up?" Kusabi said.

Yumoto took a deep breath and bowed low. "I'm sorry, but I can't join your Earth Defense Club."

This got everyone's attention.

"What? Why not?" Tadakuni asked.

"The fighting might be a pain but you'll get used to it," Kuniya assured him, "You're already a natural."

"No, it's not that," Yumoto had thought up several ideas on how to proceed. He'd thought about pretending to be Sabaku's secret twin brother who had snuck into the school for one day. He'd considered pretending to be an inspector from the Earth Defense Institution and declaring this whole thing a 'trial run' for the Lackluster Moon pen. He'd considered just slipping away without saying anything at all. But in the end, he realized there was really no reason why he couldn't just tell them the truth.

So he did.

The reactions were… _worth it_.

"So you're saying an alien fish and an alien hedgehog tried to destroy the Earth for an intergalactic TV Show last year and you became a Battle _Lover_ to stop them," Kuniya was the first to recover.

"And your koala is an animal rights activist," Tadakuni continued.

"I am not a koala! The Earth creature I resemble is a _wombat_."

"And you fell through a mirror and decided to just go along with everything happening," Kusabi seemed a little disappointed.

"And your transformation phrase is " _Love Making_ "? _Are you_ _kidding me_?" Shohei didn't bother hiding his thoughts on that matter. And he thought _his_ transformation phrase was dumb!

"And I didn't get the name wrong? We really were looking for a Tsukino Sabaku?" Tawarayama was ecstatic about this. It was understandable seeing as his coworkers and students still never let him forget all those times he mixed up people's names.

"Yep," Yumoto smiled and took out the pen, "I'm sorry to have deceived you like this, but I need to go back now. Please give this to Tsukino Sabaku."

Tawarayama nodded and took back the pen, hiding it in his afro again without a second thought. It gave Wombat chills.

"Hey, hold on you don't need to go back right this second, do you?" Shohei asked, "My folks run a karaoke place at the bottom of the hill. We always hang out there for a while every now and then. You should join us."

 _So it's a karaoke place in this world? I want to see it_. But Yumoto shook his head, a sentiment echoed by Wombat. "No, I need to get back. Kin-cha—I mean, Kusatsu-senpai did us a huge favor by letting us into the basement. If I show up while the movers are down there, he could get into a lot of trouble."

"Tch," Shohei shrugged and flipped his hair over his shoulder.

"Don't sulk, he has a point," Kusabi told him calmly. He held out his hand for Yumoto to shake, "It was really nice meeting you Yumoto-kun. Take care, and if you ever find your way back here, feel free to visit."

"And if you ever want to join the Earth Defense Institution—

"No one _wants_ to join that stuffy thing," Tadakuni snapped at their teacher, "but yeah, what Aino said. Don't be a stranger."

"Indeed, you were a big help to us today," Kuniya told him, "And now that we know how our powers are supposed to work, I see our efficiency going up in the future."

"Great, the less time spent in that ridiculous outfit, the better," Shohei remarked.

"Huh? You don't like it Senpai?" Yumoto asked.

"No way," Shohei told him curtly, "Don't tell me you do?"

"I don't mind either way," Yumoto admitted, "It's comfortable to move in, so that's all that matters, right?"

"Right!" Wombat agreed.

"The talking wombat agreeing makes me hate it even more," Shohei muttered, "Well anyway… you're alright, kid." Yumoto smiled, feeling his cheeks redden slightly.

Behind Shohei, Tadakuni sidled up to Kusabi. "Is it me, or has he gotten attached?"

"He just likes being called 'Senpai' in that adoring way," Kusabi whispered back.

"Typical."

"By the way, Hino-senpai," Yumoto said in that adoring way, "Before I go…"

"What's up? Want some sagely advice?"

"No, but," Yumoto's eyes sparkled, "Just once… can I…"

"Can you…?"

"Can I touch your hair, Senpai?"

The fact that Shohei actually agreed was something no one would let him forget for years to come. In fact, once they recruited Sabaku into their group, the first thing Tadakuni told him was that if he ever wanted anything out of the redhead, he would need to appeal to his brotherly side. And Sabaku turned out to be every bit as adorable as Yumoto when saying 'Senpai' which made him _very_ hard to turn down.

But that was another story. After Yumoto had sufficiently gotten acquainted with Shohei's long red hair, and left him looking like he'd just gotten out of bed, they parted. Yumoto figured he was supposed to go to the basement, and to his surprise, when he reached the staircase, he found his mysterious savior leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

"Did you say your goodbyes?" he asked.

"Mhm. Everything's take care of," Yumoto told him happily.

"Good," the student pushed himself off the wall and stood tall, "It would have been better if you hadn't told them everything, but perhaps it's for the best."

"Yumoto-san, who is this guy?" Wombat eyed the student suspiciously, noting that he didn't look like anyone they knew.

"He's the one who saved from becoming a pancake back there," Yumoto explained, "I didn't catch his name, but he's really cool. He knows that we're not actually from this world and everything!"

"Not everything," the student chuckled, "I still don't know why you ended up here."

"Eh, probably because the Loveracelet sensed the monster. Who cares about that?"

"I care," Wombat and the student said together before turning to each other.

"So you were the blur I saw back there," Wombat nodded, "Are you a Battle Lackluster too?"

"No, I'm not," the student said coolly, "I just happen to be someone who's learned a few things here and there."

"I see. Well then, what is this world exactly? Who is this "Tsukino Sabaku" Yumoto keeps mentioning?"

"This world… I suppose you could think of it as a sort of parallel world. From our perspective, it's as real as we are, but from yours, it's a "what could have been" of sorts," the student explained. His eyes were distant, giving Wombat the impression that he wasn't actually addressing them at all. But that impression was short lived; the mysterious student locked eyes with Wombat and smiled pleasantly.

"You must have a lot of questions, but I'm afraid there isn't much I can tell you," he said, "Things such as "why was Sabaku chosen?" or "who are the Battle Lacklusters?" or even "who is the enemy? What is their objective?" are all things Sabaku and the others are meant to find out for themselves."

"So it's not an alien reality show this time?" Yumoto asked.

"Who knows?"

"Do _you_ know?" Wombat asked, but he didn't get an answer. The student suddenly pulled out a keyring from his pocket. There was only one key on it.

"I swiped this off of the principal," he said, "It's the key to the basement."

"You didn't have to do that," Yumoto said.

"It's no trouble. I'll—

"No, I mean, Wom-san can just pick the lock," Yumoto clarified, picking up the smug alien, "Plus we left the door wide open earlier."

"…Oh." The stranger would never admit it, but he'd wanted to show off a little. If Yumoto were Sabaku, he would have been very impressed by this clever forethought.

"Well, let's go," Yumoto went on ahead. Reluctantly, the stranger followed.

The mirror stood just as they left it in the dimly lit basement, though now, when Yumoto looked at it, he once again saw that the background's reflection did not exactly match up with the actual background. If he'd touched it now, he would return, probably.

"Wait a moment," the stranger suddenly said. He wore a serious expression. "Our worlds are not meant to be connected like this. When you get back, you should destroy the mirror."

"No."

"I know it's upsetting, but—

"A close friend would get into a lot of trouble if anything in the basement gets damaged," Yumoto said calmly, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that to him." _Or Atsushi-senpai_ , Yumoto added in his head.

The stranger wanted to argue, but he knew it was a moot point. "Very well," he sighed, "But make sure to put the mirror away, at least. Cover it or put it to the wall or something."

"Okay, that I can do," Yumoto promised and held out his hand. He didn't touch the mirror yet. "So, this is goodbye forever then?"

"Yes. It has to be this way."

"Okay," Yumoto nodded, "Take care, Senpai. Make sure you send the bad guys packing!" It was a bit of a childish note to end on, but Yumoto had never been particularly good with farewells otherwise. It was the same when he'd given in to his desire to run his hands through Shohei's beautiful hair (it was worth it too).

When he touched the mirror, once again there was a blinding light, and then, only the stranger remained.

It was a known fact that one of the many, _many_ items to be found in the basement was a sledgehammer. If a student and a sledgehammer are alone in the basement, and no one is around to hear them, is the mirror shattered?

* * *

 **AN:** This chapter... In my outline, this was probably the chapter I looked forward to writing most. But once I actually started, it went into a completely different direction than my outline... I'm just going to let the reader decide on whether it turned out alright or not...

In terms of music, a Serenade is a calm piece of music typically sung/played by a man at night under the window of his lover. Music-themes seem to be common in Magical Shows so I wanted to parody that a little. Also the "Reborn!" is a reference to Tokyo Mew Mew. And I forgot to mention this last time, but the tambourine weapons are also a Sailor Moon reference :)

(I ended up not giving the sixth character a name... though I toyed with calling him either 'Ace' (like the card or someone who is good at everything) or Chiba Shigeru which is a blatant reference to Mamoru and also the name of a prolific voice actor... who happens to have a credit on Ai no Kusabi, according to Wikipedia ^^")


	5. There's No Place Like Home

**There's No Place Like Home**

* * *

Waking up from a dream was an odd feeling. It generally involved a blurred world coming into focus, heavy eyelids, and the vague sense that the reality you were just in was actually completely unrealistic from what little your memory can still grasp.

As the light disappeared and a blurred world came into focus, Yumoto and Wombat opened their eyes and found themselves in the relatively clean, cobweb free basement once again, but the hazy sensation that they had just woken up from a dream didn't even remotely occur to them. They were just as awake and alert as ever, and the only thing of note was the lingering spots in their vision from the bright flash.

Those faded as quickly as they appeared and at once, Yumoto was off, not once looking behind him.

"Atsushi-senpai, Atsushi-senpaaaaai," he called out excitedly. Confirming that Yumoto was, in fact, back in the Binan High he belonged in, Atsushi glanced up from the latest pamphlet he was reading, and stood up just in time to be tackled into a hug. He was fortunate that there was a shelf behind him, or they would have both fallen over.

"Yumoto? What's wrong?" Atsushi asked startled, hesitantly patting the 1st year's back. Wombat came into his view as well, his expression unreadable. Had something happened, he wondered

Yumoto pulled away quickly though, his smile as bright as ever. "Nothing, I just missed you," he said. It couldn't have been longer than a couple of hours at most, but it was true.

"Is that right?" Atsushi smiled, "Where did you go anyway? You could have told me you were leaving."

"I…" Anyone other than Yumoto may have held some reservations about sharing such a strange experience. After all, how many people would have believed such a story? Even someone like Atsushi, who had long gotten used to all the weirdness Wombat's appearance had thrown into his life, wouldn't have taken him seriously.

But this was Yumoto. Reservations were a foreign concept to him. He trailed off after the first syllable, not because the utter bizarreness of his experience had occurred to him, but because at same the moment that he'd opened his mouth, his ears picked up approaching footsteps. The footsteps were accompanied by chatter. Lots of it.

Atsushi looked in the direction of the sound, and then at the clock on his phone. Time always passed by quickly when one was having fun, and as Kinshiro had promised, he was back to pick them up. That accounted for one voice, but Yumoto and Atsushi picked out four others, and Atsushi went to greet them.

As they approached, the muffled chatter became clearer.

"Now are you really, _really_ sure, there's nothing down here?" said En.

"For the last time, _yes_. What do you want me to do, swear?" Kinshiro snapped.

En thought it over. "Can you swear on kintsuba?"

"Fine. I swear on kintsuba that there are no cockroaches down here."

"Now swear on Arima's tea—

"Yufuin-senpai," Ryuu suddenly cut in, "If you're going to whine, go do it in the clubroom."

"Just remember that you'll never get another chance to come down here," Io added.

Atsushi heard Kinshiro sigh heavily and suppressed a snicker. Of course the invitation to come down to the basement had been open to everyone from the beginning, but it had previously been rejected in favor of girls, stocks, and naps. Yet, at the last minute, they had all lined up after Kinshiro to get a quick glimpse.

Kinshiro was taking it well, all things considered. The look he gave Atsushi when he saw him was exhausted and irritable and pitying, but not murderous. He was making progress on that front.

As Ryuu and Io took the time to glance around, and En peered into the room from the safety of the steps, Kinshiro grumbled, "I don't know how you put up with him."

"Sorry," Atsushi apologized reflexively, "Did the movers show up?"

"Yes, Arima and Akoya are instructing them now. I hope you had enough time to look around."

"I did! Thank you so much Kin-chan!"

"But if you didn't, I believe I might be able to borrow the key from the principal again. He's in unusually high spirits; as if he'd attained some sort of enlightenment."

Here Yumoto's grin grew and he cut in.

"That's because I Love Showered him!"

There was an odd silence as all eyes fell on Yumoto.

"You what now?" Ryuu asked slowly, just in case something was misheard.

"Oh I guess it was actually a Love Serenade," Yumoto corrected himself thoughtfully.

"You serenaded our _principal?_ "

"Oh wait, he wasn't technically ours," Yumoto frowned, "But they looked the same, so close enough."

"What are you—

"Is _that_ where you ran off to?" Atsushi sputtered.

"Ah, not exactly," Yumoto grabbed Atsushi's arm and started pulling him deep into the basement, "Come on, I want to show you something."

Yumoto's grip was strong and the force with which he pulled Atsushi was stronger, leaving him with no choice but to follow. The others followed—even En—partially because they were curious but mostly because they wanted to banish the mental images of Yumoto standing under the window of the principal's office and serenading their eccentric headmaster with love songs.

Yumoto dragged Atsushi to the place where he'd found the mirror—he was sure of it; his memory for such things was good. But all that greeted him was dusty boxes, and miscellaneous trinkets on miscellaneous shelves. Even the black curtain that had initially covered it was gone. The smile on his face quickly faded and he frantically released his grip on Atsushi and started moving things around.

"Where'd it go?" he cried, "It was right here! Wom-san, it was right here!"

"It was," Wombat agreed with a frown, but unlike Yumoto he didn't look around and just sat on the ground.

"What's wrong?" En asked, "Did you lose something?"

"There was a huge mirror right here," Yumoto mimed the shape with his hands, "It's gone!"

"What do you mean gone?" Ryuu asked.

"If you broke something—

"I didn't break anything! It was here!"

As Yumoto continued to futilely search, Atsushi nervously turned to Kinshiro.

"Was there a mirror down here?"

"Not that I'm aware of…" Kinshiro frowned but then shook his head, "No I'm certain there wasn't. This was Akoya's section. If there was a mirror, we'd know about it, believe me."

"There you have it," En said. Seeing Yumoto's increasingly agitated face though, he thoughtfully added, "Maybe you saw your reflection in something and thought it was a mirror? What was so special about it anyway?"

"There _was_ a mirror," Yumoto insisted, "It was really big and old but when I touched it my Loveracelet flashed, and then Wom-san and I were taken to this other Binan High. And you—" he pointed to the other members of the Defense Club one by one— "and you and you...and you were there. But En-chan-senpai had blue hair and Ryuu-senpai had really long, really shiny red hair and I got to touch it and it was really soft and nice. And Tawarayama-sensei was also there and he had this huge afro that he hid pens in. And you were part of this thing called the Earth Defense Institution that had a secret base that I didn't get to see because there was a huge white rabbit that thought it was an auctioneer attacking the school, so we transformed into Battle Lacklusters and had star shaped tambourines that turned into a harp and then we Love Serenaded the rabbit and he turned out to be the principal. And then this guy—I never got his name—appeared to help me get back—oh and he also saved me during the battle—and he told me that I should hide the mirror but I wanted to show it to you guys first but now it's gone!"

He finally stopped to take a breath, during which the others picked their jaws up off the floor. They weren't really sure what they were expecting, but it wasn't that. The images of Yumoto courting their principal were gone, at least…

"Blue hair?"

"Yumoto, are you feeling alright? Could you have hit your head on one of the shelves?"

"Blue hair!"

"Kusatsu-san, there isn't anything weird down here right? No hallucinogenic gas or anything right?" Ryuu asked.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Blue hair…"

"En-chan, we heard you the first two times."

"Well how else would you explain this?"

"Can you even imagine me with blue hair?"

"Believe me Yufuin, no one wants to."

"Hold on Yumoto, you said Wombat was with you, correct?" Io turned his gaze to the pink marsupial who was trying very hard to avoid eye contact. "Do _you_ have anything to add?"

Wombat grimaced. "It _does_ sound really unbelievable…"

"But it's true!" Yumoto said, "Why don't you believe me?"

"Ah, sorry, sorry, we believe you Yumoto," Atsushi, ever the peacemaker, offered, "But it does sound a little… odd?"

"Magic mirrors, white rabbits… could've sworn I read a book with something like that," Ryuu remarked dryly, "And tambourines that turn into harps? Sounds like the kind of logic one could only dream up."

"It wasn't a dream," Yumoto muttered.

"It wasn't, it wasn't," Atsushi gave Ryuu a pointed look, "Er, how about you tell us more about this blue-haired En-chan?"

Yumoto quickly perked up. "He looked just like En-chan-senpai, but his hair was blue and his name was Mizuno Tadakuni."

"Mizuno Tadakuni?" Kinshiro frowned, "Humor me, what are you studying in your history class right now?"

Yumoto shrugged. "I don't know, I don't really pay attention."

"Mizuno Tadakuni was a daimyo who served as the chief senior counsellor in the early 19th century," Kinshiro clarified, "You should have studied him in the Edo unit."

"Yumoto sleeps in history; if he heard it, it was subconsciously," Io mused, "What was the red-haired Ryuu's name?"

"Hino Shohei."

"Like the actor?" En asked.

"Maybe? He _was_ kinda dramatic," Yumoto admitted with great reluctance, "And then the other Io-senpai was named Kino Kuniya—

"A _book store_?" Atsushi, who always took great care not to laugh at others, struggled to keep a straight face. Io looked affronted.

"And the other Atsushi-senpai was named Aino Kusabi."

At once, the barely concealed laughter turned into dumbfounded coughs. "Where did you—why would you—does your brother know you're reading such things?" Even in the dim lighting, it was easy to see how red Atsushi's face became. Yumoto tilted his head in confusion.

"What things Kinugawa-senpai?" Ryuu asked.

"And do I want to know what _you_ know about them?" En added.

"It's nothing, forget it!"

Ryuu and En exchanged a look. It was the look of two people who were going to search the internet as soon they were out of the dead zone basement, and then mercilessly heckle their friend about it at every opportunity.

"Judging by that… reaction, I think it's safe to assume that all of four of our counterparts' names have a basis somewhere," Io sighed, "and the surnames alone are oddly thematic. I'm sure if we were to sit down on a couch and analyze every other little detail, we'd find a basis for them as well."

"What about the principal?" Ryuu asked, "An auction monster?"

"The school auction _is_ tomorrow," Kinshiro reminded him, "And with the way preparations have been going, I suppose it isn't _that_ strange that he's in a good mood."

"So you still don't believe me," Yumoto pouted, then sighed. Gora-an-chan always told him that holding grudges was childish. "But fine, whatever. Wom-san was with me, so I know I'm not making it up. And it was fun. So there!"

It was a childish way to end the topic, and for a moment the other occupants of the room couldn't help but want to fight him on this, if only to make themselves feel better about possibly missing out on something interesting.

"As long as you had fun, I suppose," En muttered instead.

Yumoto nodded arrogantly, his hands on his hips. It was pointless to argue further so the matter was dropped then and there. They couldn't stay in the basement much longer at any rate, so with an offer of sweets and tea, they were able to convince Yumoto to forget about the matter and file out.

Was it a dream though? Yumoto refused to believe it. As soon as he had a chance he would have Wombat pick the lock and investigate things properly. Mirrors didn't get up and walk away, so it had to still be there.

The others began their ascent up the stairs. Yumoto paused in the doorway though, glancing down at Wombat, who was looking back with a frown. Without warning, he picked the alien up and hugged him close; breaking whatever daze Wombat was in.

"Yumoto-san," Wombat grumbled, flailing uselessly.

"It wasn't a dream," Yumoto asked in a quiet determined voice, "Right?"

Atsushi called for him to come up, so he followed, shutting off the lights and closing the door behind him.

* * *

 **AN** : And so it ends. Thank you so much for reading!

And apologies for taking forever with this chapter. Things were a bit hectic for me for a while, and even though I had outlined this chapter, it was really hard to write... but um, I hope the end result is ok! I wanted to end things off a bit open ended...

(Also I'm hoping to write more stories with the Battle Lacklusters in the future)

Till next fic! :)


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